


i don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight

by Valkyrees



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: A lot of other shit, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Kissing, Oral Sex, daddy said exactly one time, hi, mention of death for like two seconds, oh fuck, oh there's also, so theres a bunch of stuff/dynamics pulled from that universe, some of this is fluffy, some questionable jokes, strap sex, there's also, this is basically a riff on deadpool, um
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:28:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22389451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valkyrees/pseuds/Valkyrees
Summary: +"We can always spend today as just friends," Lena points out. "Galentine's Day is pretty mainstream now.""Galentine's Day is for losers who don't have anyone else," Kara says, smiling as she looks at Lena. She's wearing a fancy button down and dark jeans, and she actually looksnicefor once. Which is a bit weird, to be honest, especially considering thelasttime they went out was the DEO holiday party, where Kara forced Lena andeveryone elseto witness her wearing a Rudolph Christmas sweater with hertit outas thenose.Lena was expecting today's outfit to be on par withthat, not to see Kara legitimately trying."Wehave each other, though," Kara goes on. "And what are friends for, if not fake dating tonotbe losers?"OR, the [fake dating] Deadpool AU where they do a lot of cute shit on Valentine's Day.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 58
Kudos: 938





	i don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jthawky](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jthawky/gifts).



> Hi everyone!!
> 
> In case you missed it in the summary or the tags: THIS IS A DEADPOOL AU,
>
>> \- as in Kara is based off deadpool (superpower: can heal anything, including missing body parts)  
> \- Lena is based off Domino (superpower: luck),  
> \- other than that, this is just about them doing dumb shit on Valentines Day 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!! Thanks so much for all the positive vibes and feedback y’all send out, truly appreciated <3
> 
> title from cheap thrills by Sia
> 
> I'm on [TUMBLR](https://valkyrieskwad.tumblr.com/) and [TWITTER](https://twitter.com/VaIkyrieSquad). Come hang out with me!
> 
> <3

Lena stares at the loose sleeve where Kara's arm used to be and considers, for the first time in a while, that maybe they should rethink their entire crime-fighting lifestyle. Maybe they should just _stop_ altogether, take up something less dangerous like _sewing_.

Perhaps knitting. Fencing. Underwater basket weaving. There's always the Great British Baking Show, being a _Real_ Housewife, Chopped.

God, even _that_ sounds dangerous.

"At least it wasn't a leg this time," Kara says, and there's no good reason she should be proud of that. "Legs take forever to grow back."

"I admire your resiliency after losing a body part, I honestly do," Lena starts with, aiming for _nice_ first, because Kara responds to praise like kittens do to catnip. But, _also_ because she read a book once that people like bad shit sandwiched in between good shit, or whatever. So, she fingers a frayed thread on the couch cushion, then hits with the salami and cheese before the second piece of bread, "But could you do me a favor and _please_ _stop_ using your ripped off arm as a back scratcher? It's kind of disgusting, and I hate it. But, _you're_ great."

" _Oh_?" Kara perks up, smiling. The sandwich always works. "I mean it's a little rude for someone able-bodied to call me _disgusting._ But I guess if you _hate_ it, will you discard it for me in our lost limbs depository?"

Lena just blinks at her a second, wondering if somewhere in this city she has a very old, very gullible long lost aunt by chance. One with a rent-controlled apartment that she's willing to put in Lena's name. One that's teetering dangerously close to dying of old age.

Probably not, though.

Not even _she's_ that lucky, which means she's stuck _here_ with the world's weirdest alien.

"If you mean the dumpster outside the window, then _sure_ ," she finally says, sighing, sinking further into the couch. "I'll throw it out."

"Jesus," Kara gasps, dragging her arm from behind her back and cradling it to her chest, mouth hanging open in a way that's too pretty for how positively, head-scratchingly dumb she is. "Is that what you've been doing this whole time with my body parts? Do you know how much a Supergirl limb would go for on eBay? I don't either, but it's probably _at least_ thirty-six dollars after paying for shipping. We could be as rich as Jeff Bezos' dog walker right now if you weren't so reckless."

"Fine," Lena agrees, grabbing her knife off the couch between them, flipping it open and sitting up again. "If you _insist_ , I say lets start harvesting your limbs right now _,_ could make a small fortune before Halloween, even dress up as Sonny and Cher with _real hair_ wigs."

"On second thought," Kara says brightly, then she turns and whispers against the skin of her old hand, "Sorry Armaline, but it looks like you're fated to end up smashed against last night's Taco Bell. It'd be different if Lena fixed the plumbing and stopped making me poop in plastic bags, but she hasn't so alas, here we are. You deserve better than this."

"That's gross," Lena frowns, snapping her knife shut. "Even for you."

"It's called the circle of life, baby," Kara smiles, tossing her arm behind the couch. "But seriously, we need to get the plumbing fixed. We're running out of bags and I don't want to rob Whole Foods again. Could you like, do your thing and make it work. Please? This once."

"You're insufferable," Lena says, but she gets up and jiggles the handle on the toilet, anyway. 

Lady Luck always pulls through.

This is probably supposed to be the part where a limited but oddly enlightening backstory gets inserted, so.

Here's the quick and dirty: Lena met Kara two years ago playing sketchy-poker in a mold infested basement. It took Kara losing everything she _had_ right down to her _supersuit_ , before she realized that Lena was a mutant, and that Lena was _lucky_.

(Literally. Her actual superpower is _luck_ , and it's a lot more handy than it sounds, okay? She's never met a ring toss she can't win.)

(Wait, shit, Uno reverse it for a second: are _mutants_ even a thing in DC? Who knows.)

Either way, they ended up getting way too drunk together, singing Celine Dion very badly, before finally getting kicked out of the moldy poker basement, thank god. Then they went to a bar, and then they went to QuikTrip, and _then_ they hiked across town _just_ to smear fifty-cent chilli cheese dogs on a Superman statue. Because, as it turned out, Kara was _still_ mad about Batman choosing Kal-El over her to join the Justice League, and Lena was just... more than happy to help out with somewhat justified drunken vandalism.

(Although, to be fair, Earth's sun _does_ make Superman _impenetrable_ , bullets bouncing off his chest and all that, like the sexy as fuck David Hasselhoff at the end of the first Spongebob movie. And, while Kara _is_ unkillable--the equivalent of a practically fucking indestructible, self regenerating, undying jellyfish--she can _still_ get bullet holes and lose blood and get her limbs ripped off, and it happens almost every single fight she has without fail. Seriously, the girl just _really_ likes losing her body parts.

And maybe that's endearing to Lena and probably Lena alone, but it's not super palatable for anyone else. It's just not _cute_ enough for TV, you know? After all, if it's not sex it doesn't sell, so Kara not being picked for the Justice League sort of checks out.

If asked, though, Lena totally agrees it was a largely fucking sexist move. Totally. Fuck Batman.)

Anywho, that's how they met, and they've been friends ever since.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled program.

"How do you feel about fake dating?" Kara asks one morning, out of fucking nowhere.

"Um," Lena says, curious as she looks up from her newspaper. "Elaborate."

Kara taps her fingers against her lips, then rephrases, "What are your personal feelings and thoughts about the concept of fake dating, and/or your thoughts on whether or not you'd partake in it?"

"Right, that's what I thought you meant," Lena confirms, because of course Kara's asking a dipshit question before it's even 8am yet. "It's basically always a bad idea, right? It's the first thing they write in self-help books for friendships: _whatever you do, don't do_ this _dumb shit_. It's objectively the _worst_ category of Romantic Comedies. It's the reason Netflix keeps shoving Noah whoever-the-fuck in our collectively unimpressed faces. It's unoriginal, honestly, and in the real world all it does is ruin perfectly _good_ friendships. It's not worth it."

"Alrighty, then," Kara laughs, plopping down clumsily on the couch next to her, snuggling against her shoulder. "Thanks for the TED talk. So, Lady Luck hasn't had any luck with fake dating?"

"No, I'm just _saying_ ," Lena says. "Whatever you're up to, just stop being up to it."

But Kara leans in _more_ , pressing heavy against Lena as she begs, " _Please_ ," eyes so blue Lena can't even be frustrated with her. Which is fucking frustrating in itself. "Will you pretend to be my Valentine so we can scam as much free crap as possible?"

"It's not even... is it?" Lena asks, looking down to check the date on the newspaper, and. Oh. It really _is_ Valentine's Day, which means they probably _can_ scam some free shit. God help them all, Kara Danvers may actually have a good idea today. But, still. "We shouldn't invite that sort of negativity into our lives. We've just feng shui'd the apartment, after all."

"I did the exact opposite of everything the internet said to do with feng shui," Kara says, and Lena... doesn't know why she expected to hear anything better than that. "Can't trust the DotComs, amirite? Anyway, more importantly, did you really read a self-help book about friendship just for _me_? I know you did, I just want to hear you say it."

"I did," Lena admits, and she knows where this is going, and she _knows_ she's going to say _yes_. Because even if it _is_ a bad idea, she's still the leading expert on deliberate self-destruction and god-fucking-awful at romantic holidays. "So, what?"

"So, be my valentine," Kara smiles. "It's already clear I'm the first friendship you've ever had, which is wildly unfortunate, but. Why _not_ mess this thing up just like we do everything else: unnecessarily, but with _style_."

Lena hums for a second, but she's not actually interested in fighting it.

Kara sort of has a point. It's just who they are.

"We can always spend today as just friends," Lena points out an hour later. "Galentine's Day is pretty mainstream now."

"Galentine's Day is for losers who don't have anyone else," Kara says, smiling as she looks at Lena. She's wearing a fancy button down and dark jeans, and she actually looks _nice_ for once. Which is a bit weird, to be honest, especially considering the _last_ time they went out was the DEO holiday party, where Kara forced Lena and _everyone else_ to witness her wearing a Rudolph Christmas sweater with her _tit out_ as the _nose_.

Lena was expecting today's outfit to be on par with _that_ , not to see Kara legitimately trying.

" _We_ have each other, though," Kara goes on. "And what are friends for, if not fake dating to _not_ be losers?"

"Lots of things," Lena shrugs, walking over to unbutton Kara's shirt, so she can re-button it for her. "Like letting you know you missed a button, so you don't have to walk around like a dork all day."

"Maybe that was my intention," Kara defends.

"But, it wasn't," Lena says, tucking the button underneath the collar in first. "And if it was, then I'd like to point out that maybe _I_ have rules and standards for our fake relationship arrangement."

"So you _did_ watch _To all the Boys_ ," Kara smiles. "I knew it. What are the rules?"

> **Lena's Fake Dating Rule List**
> 
> ~~No kissing~~
> 
> ~~No sex~~
> 
> ~~Moderate amounts of handholding~~
> 
> Nothing's off limits in the game of fake love!!! Don't be a killjoy, Lee.

"The penis is a nice touch," Lena says, tilting her head to inspect it. "This can go in our friendship scrapbook for the day we did something dumb with no pre-established rules."

Kara's just squinting her eyes at Lena when Lena looks up, bottom lip squeezed between her thumb and forefinger. "I never realized, but is the reason you scrapbook everything we do because you read that friendship self-help book?"

She licks her lips after she says it, and Lena gets stuck staring. God, Kara's always licking her lips and always _touching_ them somehow, so they're always this glistening pretty _pink_ and always puffy, and Kara always acts like she legitimately doesn't notice how perfect she is.

Not that Lena's noticed, either, she just means objectively. People usually realize when they look like _that_.

"It said scrapbooking creates feelings of closeness and joy," Lena whispers after a too-weird pause. "Sparks old, fond memories or something."

"That sounds like it was written by a Pinterest mom that makes K-Stew outfit boards and posts scans of her therapy handouts that you need an account to access. But I love what it's doing for our friendship."

"Me too," Lena agrees, "It's never really steered me wrong."

Overall, her pre-date _convince Kara we shouldn't do this_ plan feels like a bust and a wholly counterproductive process, but Lena can't say she's not excited that Kara crossed all her rules off the list. Maybe she _does_ want a kiss. So what.

They're holding hands.

It shouldn't be surprising since Kara's awkwardly determined to make them seem like a real couple: made them take pre-date selfies before they left the apartment, told the Uber driver that Lena _was her better half, like the Venom inside her Eddie_ , and even helped her out of the backseat and walked on the part of the sidewalk closest to traffic, so.

Handholding shouldn't be the most shocking part about this, but it _is_ , like Lena can't pinpoint why, but something about it feels different.

"The first stop on our list is breakfast," Kara says, pulling a piece of paper out of her pocket just as they approach the line outside _The Best Damn Pancake House_. She unfolds it carefully and right there, in ballpoint pen, are words scribbled in her handwriting. Numbered like actual organized bullet-points, written out like an actual person with forethought would do.

Lena nearly chokes on her saliva. "You have a _list_? Like an actual written out, planned out list? Seriously? You're the girl that got your Secret Santa the wrong present even though they listed six times different variations of the _same thing_ they wanted on Elfster."

"So what?" Kara shrugs, "I didn't feel like that actually mattered, and I don't know. I just like remembering where I can get free things." Lena has at least thirteen counter arguments and past, disproving examples she can mention, but Kara's doing a weird, anxious thing with her eyes, so she doesn't. "Besides, there's a chance we get our entire meal free, here. You just have to work your magic."

Which, _fine_ , so here are **_The Best Damn Pancake House's Free Breakfast for Couples on Valentine's Day Rules_**

_(Holy crap, that's a mouthful, glad I didn't choke on it_

\- Kara, probably **):**

>   1. The server will ask five questions increasing in difficulty, that must be answered correctly in order to successfully acquire the free breakfast.
>   2. To make shit harder, the format for answering is one person writing things down, and the other person guessing what they wrote (exact wording and phrasing _do_ , in fact, matter).
>   3. If all five questions are answered correctly, then breakfast is free.
> 


_Wow, this is harder than when I faked a marriage to get my green card._

_-_ Also Kara, probably

"Sounds like a walk in the park," Lena says, smiling and rubbing her lucky hands together. "I was born to do this."

"Heck yes you were," Kara smiles back. "I'm going to do my best to make you guess wrong, though, still not convinced that _luck_ is an actual superpower, but we're gonna find out today, aren't we?"

"Shut up, whatever," Lena laughs. "Your superpower is just growing new limbs. You're basically stem-cell research."

Kara's laugh bursts out of her so thick it sounds like she chokes. Then she twists her pretty lips up in a pretty smile and says, "You complete me, Lena Luthor, you know that?"

And, _right_ , there's _that_ , too. Kara keeps saying shit like that.

It's shaping up to be a pretty weird day.

"Okay, here's the deal," the waiter says, flushed and impatient as he pulls a notepad out of his pocket. "This place is packed tighter than a **THIS JOKE IS REDACTED**. So, if you make my day hard, I'll make yours even harder."

"There's gotta be a threesome in that sentence, _somewhere_ ," Kara says, and Lena kicks her under the table. To which, she smiles even bigger and says, "Careful with this one, she likes her hair pulled, if you know what I mean."

"No one _ever_ knows what you mean," Lena cuts in, then turns to the waiter. "No worries, we know the rules. Just lay the questions on us."

"Who's writing and who's guessing?" The waiter asks, setting the notepad and the pen down.

Kara grabs both and pulls them toward her. "I'm writing, of course. Lena's the worst guesser this side of the Mississippi, so we'll be out of your hair in no time, right babe?"

Lena snorts. _Babe_. "Sure, whatever," she waves the waiter to go on.

"Alright," he says. "First question should be easy, but if you're asexual or whatever, just let me know. Anyway --" he turns to Kara -- "What is your favorite thing to do during sex?" he asks, and Kara quickly writes something on the paper, looking up after. Then the waiter turns to Lena and says, "Now you guess. And that's the whole game. Simple, really. Try not to take a long time, because if you don't know it, you don't know it."

"Right, _um_ ," Lena hums, and then Lady Luck springs an awkward suggestion to her mind. It sounds exactly like something Kara would say, so she pretty much _knows_ she's right. "I'm gonna guess that she wrote down _over the pants mouth stuff_ , which is fitting. She's weird like that."

Kara snorts the water she's drinking, then flips the pad around, and she, in fact, _did_ write that very exact thing.

"Jesus Christ," she mumbles, "It still impresses me every time you do it."

The next three question aren't exactly noteworthy, since Kara continuously underestimates the scope of Lena's power, but the last question is where she really _tries_. "Alright, for the final one," the waiter says, less rushed and impatient because this is probably the most entertainment he's had all day. "If you had enough money to buy absolutely anything in the world that you wanted, what would you buy?"

Kara starts writing before he even fully gets the question out, looping out letters furiously, erasing, rewriting, reading it over. All-in-all it takes her a solid two minutes to finalize her answer, but when she's finally done, Lena already knows exactly what she wrote.

"There's no way you're going to get this," the waiter says, glancing at Kara's paper.

"Just try her," Kara says, smiling hopefully. "Lena, babe, please demonstrate."

Lena takes a deep breath, laughs a little, then answers, "Her exact wording is probably something along the lines of, _Access to SwanQueen69love4eva's laptop, because she hasn't updated the ice skating fic since 2013, and am I really supposed to live my life not knowing if Regina pegs Emma right before the Olympic alpine skiing event?_ But that's just a guess. A lucky one, maybe."

Kara sets the paper on the table, and right there, scribbled out in her ridiculous chicken-scratch, are those exact words.

"Holy shit," the waiter gasps. "Holy shit. You two are the weirdest fucking couple I've ever met in my life, but I fucking love it," he finishes, smiling, eyes squinting like he's _impressed_. Kara's smiling, too, in a way Lena's never really seen before, like she's genuinely _proud_. "The free meal only covers like, one entree and a drink, but I'll throw in two desserts because I like you. Call me if you're serious about that threesome."

"I prefer email," Kara says, bright eyes glued to Lena for some reason. "But we'll take two chocolate sundaes for those desserts, thanks."

"I'm not sure what you have that tops free breakfast _and_ ice-cream," Lena says, holding Kara's hand, walking out of the parking lot. "But I'm excited that's just the first thing on your list. Glad you dragged me out."

"You're having a good time?" Kara asks, so goddamn excited, hopeful, _god_ , she's doing it again. Being _weird_. Lena's seen Kara talk shit in almost every situation she's encountered: at funerals and birthdays, in the middle of movies and at court hearings.

She's seen Kara make an ass of herself day-after-day-after-day, even watched her keep talking shit as she was ripped in half once, still going as Lena carried her home using her arms as backpack straps. The thing is, Kara _doesn't_ do serious. Not unless the situation absolutely warrants it, and _today_ is not one of those days _just_ because it's Valentine's Day (which is, somewhat objectively, one of the shittier of the holidays). So. Again, Kara's just. Being fucking weird. Maybe she's dying or something. Maybe _Lena's_ dying.

"We're doing a festival next," Kara says, and Lena realizes she never answered. "It's gonna be fun, too, I bet. A ton of stuff to do."

Lena actually _hates_ festivals, as a general rule. The tickets are too expensive, accommodations are poor, everything is large and chaotic and you spend the whole day in sweaty pits with slightly unstable people, just so you can hear the muddy sounds of a band playing something vaguely familiar several hundred feet away. She's usually just _not_ interested.

But then Kara says, "We got these tickets for free, entered us in a selfie contest a few weeks ago, and we won," and that sort of changes things.

"You entered a selfie of us in a contest?" Lena asks, slightly perplexed, because that implies Kara was thinking about this _weeks_ ago, and Lena's absolutely never known her to think that far in advance.

"Yeah, remember we went to the diner after we fought that guy who looked like he belonged in _Torchwood: Children of Earth_?"

"Yep," Lena nods.

Then Kara goes on, "We took that selfie with the jukebox that we queued up _Cheap Thrills_ sixteen times on. And then we had to stay until closing to do the dishes because we couldn't afford our food afterwards."

"It was worth it," Lena says.

"Of course it was," Kara smiles. "Anyway, I submitted that to the contest, and we _won_. The first place winner got to choose anything on this list that they'd like to go to for free with their significant other."

"And you chose music festival?" Lena asks. She didn't even know there _was_ a festival happening.

"No, of course not, gross. Those are basically an orgy of excess," Kara frowns. " _We're_ going to a Renaissance festival, m'lady. You're in for a treat. We even get free food, and it turns out they sell way more than just turkey legs."

"You looked up food options beforehand?" Lena asks curiously, and Kara clears her throat for a long second, awkward and flushed.

Then she starts _frowning_ , pouting ridiculously as she throws her head back. "Why are you trying so hard to _ruin this_?" she whines. "I planned us a whole day of free stuff, and you just, all you have to do is be my valentine. That's the only rule."

"Actually, there are no rules," Lena reminds her.

And Kara stops abruptly, pulls the rule list out of her pocket, and quickly squiggles something on it before handing it to Lena.

> **Lena's Fake Dating Rule List**
> 
> ~~No kissing~~
> 
> ~~No sex~~
> 
> ~~Moderate amounts of handholding~~
> 
> ~~Nothing's off limits in the game of fake love!!! Don't be a killjoy, Lee.~~
> 
> Only rule: Lena Luthor will fully enjoy being my (fake) valentine ~~, and stop asking so many questions~~

"So, basically, just enjoy myself?" Lena asks, skeptically. "And I can only do that if we're fake dating, and not as just friends? I don't get it, Kara, you're being so _weird_ , even for you."

"Sorry," Kara mumbles, shoving her hands in her pockets. "I just thought it would make it more fun, but we don't have to do that."

Fuck, is she actually _sad_? Lena hates this. _Fine_. "Okay, but we're going to do it, we have to go all out," she gives in, pointing between them. "Right now we're basically the equivalent of an awkward first date, and where's the fun in that? Right?"

"Yeah," Kara says, eyes brighting up again. "Crap, sorry, you're right. I've been doing this all wrong, sorry. Must be the residual of the bar going through my head during that last fight, probably finally stabbed my last braincell."

"Well, get your shit together," Lena says, because she's entering full self-destruction mode, and going along with this is the only thing zooming through her brain right now. "If you're going to be my fake girlfriend _on_ Valentine's Day, you have to be way better than that."

"Noted," Kara smiles. "I'll be better, promise."

She pulls her hand out of her pocket and offers it to Lena, and. Lena takes it.

This is the beginning of the end.

The festival goes by in a blur, endless amounts of food and jousting and costumes and _rainbow_ flags. Kara even does some shit that gets them invited to meet the king and queen. It's hours and hours and miles of walking, and honestly. Lena comes out of the whole thing just thinking about Kara. Non-stop, head swirling, mind numbing _Kara_. The festival goes by in a blur, because Lena _isn't_ focused on it.

She's focused on the way Kara curls their fingers together, how she sits on the same side of the table as Lena while they're eating, how it's been five hours and Kara's made maybe _two_ sex jokes.

She's focused on how tall Kara is, how she puts her arm around Lena's waist, how she keeps making an ass of herself _just_ to make Lena laugh. Lena said they should go all out and Kara really is, like she's a whole other person, like she's completely fucking new. And it's not even fake or dishonest or _not genuine_ , it's like she's actually seeing a different side of Kara that she's never gotten to see before, and. It's amazing.

Her heart's in her stomach by the time the sun's going down, when Kara's wrapped around her back, lost in the crowd, swaying back and forth to the music part of the festival. _God_ , she thinks dangerously, _she could fucking get used to this_.

"So, was I better?" Kara asks, leaning down, lips pressed to Lena's ear. "I can do more if you want me to, rip out my heart and put it on a stick just for you. All you have to do is say the word, I promise."

"What if I ate it?" Lena asks, and Kara giggles against her cheek. "What if I straight-up, Game of Thrones, Daenerys-style ate your heart right in front of you like I enjoyed doing it."

"I think I'd ask you to marry me right on the spot," Kara says, and Lena wants to smile, wants to laugh, wants to _blush_. But. She's not even certain if any of this is real, if Kara actually means that or she's living up to the challenge, if today's supposed to be for shits and giggles or if it _means_ something. She can never know with Kara, not forreal, and _that's_ starting to be a problem. "Hey," Kara whispers, breath warm against Lena's jaw, thumbs rubbing circles over her belly. "You're tensing up, you know? Just remember our rule, okay? All you have to do is enjoy today."

"I am," Lena says, "Just thinking about tomorrow."

"Me too," Kara hums, "but we'll fight that battle once we get there, right? Play it fast and loose like we always do."

"One of these days, that's going to be the thing that gets us in some serious shit, you know that right?" Lena asks her, tilting her head back as they sway, closing her eyes and breathing slow to the sound of the strings. "It's going to bite us on the ass."

"Mmm, I don't know about that one," Kara says, and Lena can tells she's smiling. "I think we'll be just fine, as long as we have _your_ luck, right?"

"I guess you're right," Lena says, and then she smiles, too.

Everything feels weird inside Lena's head, tense and heavy, mind plummeting as they drag their feet toward the exit of the festival. She keeps wondering if this whole thing _is_ a fake date, if Kara's behavior is all just for _this_. Like, she doesn't feel that Kara's trying to hurt her, trying to play her, trying to make a fool of her or anything.

But, she doesn't know if Kara's capable of a relationship, capable of being serious and saying she likes someone, capable of having adult conversations just in case, god forbid, they ever have a serious adult relationship problem. Lena doesn't know what's happening, why everything feels intense and stuffy, but she knows she likes Kara, _loves_ her, even. She just doesn't know if Kara's capable of liking her back, at least in a way that moves past middle school boy for at least some part of their time.

She doesn't really want to think about that, though, just wants to think about their fingers laced together, Kara leading her everywhere, scheduling their Ubers and making sure Lena doesn't have to use her brain.

She wants to think about the fact that, today at least, Kara's done a great job of being a _good_ girlfriend.

"I hope you're hungry," Kara smiles, and Lena just blinks at her. They're 108 floors up in one of _the_ most expensive, most booked restaurants (on Valentine's Day, _mind you_ ) in the entire fucking city.

"I am," Lena says tentatively, "but what are we going to be eating _here_?"

"Food of course," Kara says, walking them up to the host stand. "Sorry, didn't bring m'heart on a stick. But I swear I can make it happen if you want it as a snack later. Once got shot in the brain, so living without a heart should be just fine."

 _Jesus, she's impossible_ , Lena thinks, but she finds herself smiling, anyway. "No, I mean like _how_ , how are we going to--" she starts, but Kara just nudges her, slipping her phone out of her pocket and clicking on the screen.

"Reservation for two under David Foster Wallace," she says, holding up her phone with what looks like a confirmation. 

The host looks at it a second, then, miraculously, says, "Right this way," handing them off to another girl who leads them right towards _the table with the best view in the entire fucking restaurant_. Lena scoots in right next to Kara so they're both just, staring out the window at the entire goddamn city. Jesus Christ, how the fuck did Kara pull _this_ one off for _free_. There's no way she's not paying for this.

"How can we even afford this?" Lena asks, once they're alone.

"You know how I got my arm ripped off in the last fight?" Kara asks, and Lena didn't expect _that_ start to this explanation, so she is zero percent interested in seeing where it goes. "Well, it was sort of on purpose."

"What does _sort of_ on purpose mean?" Lena asks, and she doesn't want to sound mean, but _this_ sounds like a new level of fucking dumb.

"So, I sort of met this guy on this black market website and he said if I let him send a drone to my next fight location and make sure something gets ripped off on camera, that he'd give me five-thousand dollars for it," Kara says, casually, like that's an okay-peachy-keen thing to do. Jesus fuck, Lena doesn't know what to do with her. "So somewhere out there on the dark web there's some intimate limb-ripping-off porn of me, but it's sort of worth it, right? How many times do we get to eat five-star meals that probably taste like butt?"

"That was _not_ worth it," Lena yelps, shoving Kara's shoulder. "Jesus, fuck, don't you ever do that again. What the fuck?"

God, Lena's fucking livid. She knew Kara was an idiot, but she never realized that she was a whole-ass-fucking- _idiot_. "Hey, I'm _sorry_ ," Kara shrugs, defensive. "You said it yourself, I must love being ripped apart. Thought I'd make it marketable."

"That wasn't what I meant," Lena snaps.

And Kara should probably thank the heavens that the waitress comes over at exactly that second, stops Lena from strangling her right here in front of everyone on _Valentine's Day._ "So, which one of you would be David?" she asks, what a stupid fucking question.

"That would be me," Kara says, biting her lip and smiling, and Lena takes a deep breath because _here they go_.

"My mother was never one for traditional naming practices," she goes on, "bless her soul, way ahead of her time if you ask me. Think she was like, the messiah for millennials, you know? She even raised me non-binary, preferred pronouns are _daddy_ and--"

" _Kara_ ," Lena coughs, and Kara bites her lip so hard it turns white, trying to suppress her laugh.

"Enough about me, though," she finishes. "How about you?"

"Oh, I - um," the waitress sputters, probably because Kara's the sort of handsome that takes your breath away, and the sort of _idiot_ that brings it right back, gushing in like someone who just had CPR in a bad movie. "I'll just, get you started with some wine."

Lena snorts as the girl leaves, her elbows on the table, mouth leaned against her fists, shaking her head because _why_. "Why are you like this? I mean, as a serious question, what makes you just _say_ things like that? No hesitation. Do shit like get your arm ripped off _on purpose_."

"I don't know, because life is short," Kara shrugs, then she says, all in one breath, "Because my wife died in a freak accident immediately after she escaped certain death," like that isn't horribly fucking tragic. "But hey, you can't live until you've died a little, right?"

"You always say these things about your wife, but I'm never sure if you were really married, or if you're just fucking with me," Lena says, and Kara gets that same crinkle she gets whenever they get a case that involves kids or abuse or shit she _won't_ joke about. "What was her name, then?"

"Monica," Kara says, voice dropping the way it does when she's serious, the rare moments she's trying to relate or get a decent point across, or the times she's trying to express how upset she is whenever Lena gets hurt. "When we first met I thought she was a pretentious butthole, and. Turns out she was _actually_ a pretentious butthole, but she was _mine_ , and that meant something, believe it or not. We had this whole future planned out, and in one day it all changed, you know? Never really had anything that special before, so. It hurt."

"I get it," Lena says, and because she can tell Kara's uncomfortable, she swallows all her questions down, saves them for some other time. Today's supposed to be about free shit and having fun, it can wait. "Thanks for sharing that with me."

"Yeah," Kara shrugs, clearing her throat, looking around, perking up again a few seconds later. "Anywho, since it's storytime, could you--"

"No," Lena cuts her off.

"Okay, but how about the first time you ever used a vibra--"

" _No_ ," Lena laughs. "Just shut up and enjoy the meal, will you? I won't give you shit for being soft for a second. You're okay."

"Okay," Kara smiles, and then they snuggle and look at the view as they wait for the wine.

The food really _does_ taste like ass, though.

"We have one last stop," Kara says, shoving a hotdog from the stand at the edge of the park in her mouth. "And don't worry, didn't have to lose a limb for this, it's just free to the public and it looked nice on the website."

Lena still can't get over how much planning Kara put into this day, but she's afraid to bring it up again, doesn't want her to feel self-conscious about it, whatever her reasons were for doing it. "Where to, then?" she asks instead. "You've done amazing so far."

"Sorry the food wasn't great," Kara says, sheepishly, fireflies blinking around her under the park trees. "But I hope you at least enjoyed the view and stuff, know you're just my fake valentine, but I _really do_ want you to have a good time. I was serious about that."

She's been serious about a lot of things today, Lena thinks, makes her wonder if Kara really _is_ dying, makes her wonder if that dangerous thought in the back of her mind actually has any merit, if _they_ have a future. God, she _has_ to know. "Why'd you put so much effort into this?"

"Because I thought it would be fun," Kara says, letting her hand fall away from her mouth with her hotdog. "I thought we discussed that we were just going to _enjoy_ today, stop asking so many questions."

"I can't enjoy it, if I don't know _why_ you're doing it," Lena says. "You're like a whole different person today, and it's scaring me."

"I didn't mean to scare you, I just. I'll go back to how I was. I'm sorry."

God, Lena feels like kicking herself. "No, it's not-- _you're_ not scary, I just meant. Your behavior's so different, and it makes me think something's going on. Like, is something wrong with us? Is something happening?"

"Nothing's _wrong_ with us," Kara says, blinking fast, thick. "Why can't I just want you to have a good time?"

"Because _you're_ not like that. You don't just, plan out great days and put someone before yourself and act seriously and make sure everyone's having a good time. You say what you want, _when_ you want to, and you do what you want at all times."

"I'm not like that with anyone, but _you_ ," Kara says, like she's correcting her.

"Okay, but _why_?"

"Because. I want to kiss you," Kara says, and Lena rolls her eyes as she tries to push past her. But Kara drops her hotdog, grabs her waist and says again, quieter this time, more broken, "No, I mean it, I want to kiss you, Lee."

Oh. Lena freezes. She's suspected it all day: this isn't just a _fake_ thing, it's a _date_ thing, and Kara just didn't know how to _ask_. But it still knocks her breath away hearing Kara admit she actually likes her, jokes aside, vulnerability out. Even though it's been fucking obvious, it's still good to know it's _true_ , still good to know Kara's capable of voicing it out loud and acting on it and handling _this_ in a responsible way.

"I want to kiss you, too," Lena says, opening and closing her mouth afterwards, trying to find the words for what she wants to say next.

But, there _are_ no other words, she realizes, she really just. Wants to kiss Kara.

So, she does it.

She leans up and kisses right into the shocked O of Kara's pink fucking lips, and it's immediately everything and _nothing_ like she imagined. Of course she's _thought_ about kissing Kara. She has a pulse doesn't she? She's always imagined it'd feel good, but she never thought Kara would _be any good_ at it, assumed she'd try to talk through it or derail it or do something un-fucking-sexy. So, she doesn't expect Kara to _moan_ into it first thing, to wrap her big as fuck hands around Lena's waist and grip her like Lena's the only thing anchoring her to the earth. She doesn't expect Kara to _breathe_ like she's _breakable_ , like she can recover from any amount of damage, but falls apart at the taste of Lena.

She doesn't expect how much Kara's into it, mirroring Lena's desire almost perfectly, licking inside her mouth, biting her lip, _letting_ Lena take the kiss over, curl her fingers in Kara's hair and guide her head, her mouth. She doesn't expect them to kiss until they're both out of breath, until Lena doesn't even remember where they are when they finally pull away again.

"Fuck," Lena says, because she's spinning, because her entire fucking world is spinning. "You're incredible."

"No, m'not," Kara says instantly, swiping Lena's hair behind her ear. "You're the special one between us, I'm just. I don't have a lot of saving graces, alright? I use a lot of humor to get past that, but I never really feel covered up when I'm with you."

"I don't want you to be," Lena whispers.

"I know," Kara says. "I think that's why I fell for you so fast. You see me for who I am and think I'm something worth _anything_ , anyway. You could probably have anything you want with your powers, so it's felt like, _nice_ , having you stick around me for so long. I don't know."

"I'm not going anywhere," Lena tells her. "Not unless you're going there, too. Besides, you need someone to pick up your literal pieces in the wreckage, and I sort of take pride in doing that."

"You can leave if you want to," Kara says, cupping Lena's cheek. "I'll probably be more of a butthole, maybe blow myself up a few times, but I'll get over it. I always do. Perks of being immortal, or whatever. I just keep going on."

"Is it weird that I'm like, praying you make a sex joke so we can stop talking about this?"

"I just want you to know that you're not stuck with me, alright?"

"I just want you to know that I've thought about pegging your cute little ass since the first time it got blown off and I had to pick it up."

"God," Kara says, sinking against Lena. "I'm _trying_ to be serious, but. That's the sexiest thing anyone's ever said to me. Do it again, say more."

"Probably wouldn't start with that right off, you know? Wouldn't mind just fucking you first," Lena says, and for some reason _this_ doesn't make her feel fluttery, flushed, _weird_ like the sappy shit. This makes her belly drop, makes heat curl through her, but otherwise she feels right at home. "I mean, if you're up for that, of course."

"Wow, your mouth belongs in an Orbit commercial, doesn't it? I knew I was infatuated, but I'm crossing into obsessed. I want more, please."

"FaceBook sends me all these sex shop ads," Lena says, smiling, dipping her fingers in the waistband of Kara's jeans, trying to make it less obvious that Kara's practically humping her leg right now. "Not sure what got fucked in the algorithm for that to happen, but I _did_ see something about free flavored lube being given away at the sex shop downtown. With the purchase of something 39.99 or more, of course."

"Why are we still standing here, then?" Kara asks, and Lena doesn't get a chance to respond before Kara's lifting her over her shoulder, strides long and _sure_ , hauling ass out of the park at fucking Barry Allen speed.

Lena has a very real and very personal fear of being the awkward lesbian couple at the sex shop for the first time. But, what she quickly realizes, is that everything is fucking awkward with Kara and there's just no escaping that. So, fearing it is a bit excessive.

"Hey," Kara says, wrapping her arms around Lena in the massive lube section. "What's exactly 39.99, eight inches long, and comes with a pink, polyester harness?"

"Either a tiny pony or a big dick?" Lena asks, and Kara snorts so hard her chest jerks.

"I love you so much. Any luck picking out our free lube flavor?"

"No, there are more options than Ben and Jerry's," Lena says. "I'm tempted to just give up and go with vanilla like I always do."

"You want to taste some off of me?" Kara asks. "Maybe the way they mix with my underflavor will change your mind."

Lena feels her laugh deep in the back of her throat. Whatever, though, it's not a bad idea. "I'm really just torn between watermelon and chocolate delight. But mostly because I don't know what chocolate delight tastes like," Lena says, grabbing it off the shelf and turning towards Kara. "So, tell me, where's an appropriate place to lick you in public?"

Kara licks her lips as soon as she says it, and Lena agrees. That's a great idea. She pops the lid on the lube, squirts some on her middle and pointer fingers, lifts them, and then Kara sucks them right into her mouth the second Lena touches her lips. Which, is maybe better. Lena immediately grips her hand in Kara's hair, holds her head steady as she presses past her second knuckle, breath hitching as she asks, "How's it taste?"

Kara just hums around her fingers, closing her eyes and hollowing her cheeks, licking her tongue flat across them, between them, so fucking wet she has to swallow every few seconds. Fuck, they need to be _home_. Lena pulls her fingers out, wiping them on Kara's jeans. "Good, then?"

"Yeah, wow," Kara says, cheeks red, eyes glassy and blown, voice like she's getting spacey just from _that_. "Now I get what Lil Wayne meant by _she lick me like a lollipop_. Very enlightening experience."

Lena snorts. "Literally, what about it did you _not_ get before? You know what, nevermind. Get the strap, we're going home."

"Okay," Kara says, wiping her lips on the back of her hand, and then she smiles at Lena, big and _bright_ , before she bounces away.

"We should talk a little bit," Lena says, setting the sex shop bag on the kitchen table. "You know, before we get into all this."

"You're right, gotta set the mood, don't we?" Kara asks. "You want to do some roleplay? Lot's of options there. I can be tickle-me Elmo, and--"

"Kara, give me two seconds of you being serious. Please."

"Okay," Kara says, tensing a bit, and Lena walks over to nudge her backwards, pressing her until she pushed against the kitchen counter. She sneaks her hands under Kara's shirt, trails them up, holding her sides. "I'm nervous," Kara admits. "But m'also turned on and excited and I want you inside me, I don't know. I feel like it's happening fast, but I want it. Still nervous, though."

"It's okay, I won't hurt you," Lena tells her. "Not physically or otherwise, okay?"

"Okay," Kara smiles. "Just don't go dying on me, alright? I've seen and had enough freak accidents for a lifetime, six lifetimes, maybe."

"Hey, I won't. I'm the luckiest girl in the world, remember?"

Kara leans down, nudging Lena's nose out of the way, ghosting their lips together. "How'd you get stuck with me, then?"

"I wouldn't call this _stuck_ ," Lena says, and she means that. As it turns out, she really _does_ have a long lost aunt with a rent-controlled apartment. "I'm here because I want to be, okay? Wouldn't rather be anywhere else."

"Don't say it if you don't mean it," Kara whispers.

Lena kisses her again.

This time Kara melts right against her, even softer than before, opens her mouth wide and lets Lena press her tongue in. This time she feels smaller, somehow, like she's bigger than Lena, but Lena's in control. It feels like Lena's holding Kara in her hands, like she's the guy that crushed Adele's heart in _Rolling in the Deep_ , except she'd never _do that_ to Kara. She just wants to love her, to protect her, to feel what she's like unraveling underneath Lena. Because if kissing her is any indication, then _jesus_ , this is going to be hot.

"You think you're ready?" Lena asks, pulling her head back _just_ enough her words aren't muffled.

"Yeah, I think I am," Kara says, so Lena takes a step back.

Lena can't fucking believe it. This is happening.

Kara's actually skipping off to the bedroom, eager and flushed, so rushed in the bathroom, Lena can hear her bumping around in the shower. It's like she _can't wait_ to get back to her, excited and fucking adorable, tall and clumsy and in just a few minutes she's going to be-- _god_. Lena feels like she's fucking moving in slow motion, hands shaking, heart thudding, sweat beading on her temples as she grabs a water from the fridge and takes a messy sip of it. She feels like she's in an alternate universe, like she's entered the wrong apartment, slipped through the multiverse, wound up in a place where her dreams are actually coming true.

She just keeps thinking this must be some impossible reality where she's managed to nuzzle her way inside Kara's chest far enough that she's managing to see her secret side. She keeps thinking she'll blink and wake up and Kara'll be farting into her pillow case again or licking dead plant leaves, or doing _anything_ but opening up her heart and saying sophisticated shit to Lena.

Jesus.

Lena sets her water on the counter and takes the strap back to her bedroom, gets it set up and slips the harness over her underwear, throws on loose sweatpants over it and grabs the lube on her way to Kara. _T_ _his cannot be real_ , she keeps thinking, but as she walks toward the other bedroom, she can _see_ Kara through the door, face smashed into the pillowcase, elbows and knees tucked underneath her, ass stuck in the air, completely fucking naked like she's just waiting for Lena like _that._

Lena spends a second in the doorway just to look at her, to catch her breath, to think about the fact that this morning she was pushing every thought she's ever had about Kara so far away she forgot they were there, and _now._ Now, she just wants to call Kara sweet names, pull her hair, mark her body up. Now she just wants to cuddle all her hurt away, kiss her deeply, watch her eyes do that thing they've been doing all day today. She just wants every piece of Kara, even her broken ones, because she loves her that much.

And if sometimes Kara wants to fart in a pillowcase, Lena supposes that's okay, too.

"Lee?" Kara murmurs, shifting her hips, pressing her legs out so they're spread a bit, arching her back. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, just can't believe how pretty you look," Lena praises, licking her lips, taking a step forward, then another and another until her thighs are pressed against the bed, strap heavy in her pants, lube clenched in her hand. She needs to straighten out her thoughts, so she asks, "What do you want me to do? What do you like?"

"Whatever you want to do, that's what I like," Kara says. "Crap, just quoted Bruno on accident, hope it doesn't kill the mood."

Lena closes her eyes and she _laughs_ , something calm settling inside her. This is fucking Kara. _She_ is fucking Kara, if she stops standing here being weird. So, she climbs on the bed, sets the lube beside them, settles on her knees between Kara's legs, and wow.

This is it.

"I didn't know just how much I wanted to do this until literally right this fucking second, but _fuck_ , you're so pretty," Lena says, touching Kara's ass, sliding her hands down her thighs and spreading her apart, looking at her where she's dark pink, wet and puffy and swollen, god.

Lena just wants to taste every inch of her, wants her to feel good, stop being _nervous_. So, she starts moving without really thinking about it, settles down on her chest on the bed, slips her arms underneath Kara's thighs, pulls her back, keeps her spread. Then, she presses her face in and licks right over Kara's hole with no hesitation.

Kara’s hips snap against the bed instantly, pulling away from Lena, whispering, _moaning_ , " _No, stop_ ," as she twists her hands in the sheets, shoves her face in the pillow, ass wiggling like she _can't stop_ squirming.

Lena feels a little shocked that Kara pulled _away_ , a little sad she's saying _stop_ , but she also thinks consent is sexy, so she'll go along with it. "Is that - you don't want that? You want me to stop? You want something else?"

" _Mmm_ ," Kara whines, needy and frustrated, and Lena's heart twists up because she doesn't know what to do. She doesn't know what Kara likes, and she's not good enough at this to just. Figure it out.

"Tell me again," Kara says, a few tense seconds of silence later. "Tell me again how lucky you are."

It seems like a weird demand, but Kara shifts her head to bury her face against her arm instead, and Lena _sees_ her--cheeks red enough to rival _Flaming Hot Cheeto Puffs_. Jesus, she's so fucking sweet. "I'm the luckiest girl in the world," Lena reiterates, sitting up, getting her hands on Kara's ass again, squeezing her cheeks, spreading them apart. "Maybe even the universe with how I feel right now."

"Do you mean that? Like, really?" Kara mumbles, pressing her ass up into Lena's palm. "I need to hear you say it."

"You think I don't feel lucky right now?" Lena asks instead, massaging her hands over Kara's ass, skin getting more red the longer she touches her. "You don't think I feel lucky that I get to see you like this, that I get to _taste_ you where you're most sensitive? You don't think I feel lucky knowing how you're falling apart right now just thinking about my mouth on you?"

" _God_ ," Kara grits out, voice so fragile it almost sounds like she's crying. "Just say it, _please_."

"I'm lucky to have you, okay?" Lena finally says. "I'm so fucking lucky to have you. I want you to know that, to remember that, every day for the rest of our lives, because that's how I feel. That's how I've always felt. I love you, okay?"

"Okay," Kara whispers, and Lena can see the calm setting in, see her _relax_. 

It gives her just enough confidence to settle back down, pull her back again, take a deep breath, and--

 _This_ time when Lena licks her, Kara melts, legs spreading, hips sinking against the bed like she's unraveling, _shaking_. Lena's instantly obsessed it, obsessed with the way Kara feels and breathes and _sounds_ each time Lena drags her tongue from her clit to her hole.

She didn't know that she could ever _like_ this, that she would ever _do_ this, but she _loves_ it so fucking much, the messy wet hot slick of it, having to _hold_ Kara up, Kara rubbing against her face as she humps against the bed, Kara's sounds coming out muffled and _broken_ , fuck. The whole thing feels so dirty it's making Lena's head spin.

She gets to a point where she can't think about anything else, nothing but the smell and feel of it, the mess of it, how Kara tenses, shakes, breathes, how she _moves_. Lena just, she closes her eyes and breathes through her nose and slows everything down, so she can get _into_ it. Savor it, draw it out, lick Kara out like she really fucking means it. She sticks her tongue inside her, tastes her where she dripping _thick_ , salty against her tongue as she fucks in in _in_ , dropping her head to Kara's clit just so she can move back up and do it all over again.

She was born for this. Maybe not eating girls out, generally, but born to make Kara feel this way. She feels like she was put on this earth so Kara could be seen like this, so she could be vulnerable like this, so she could have a least one person there to protect her and love her and never hurt her, someone who's lucky enough she wouldn't escape certain death just to fucking die.

Lena feels like she was put on this earth just to make Kara happy, and she's 1000% satisfied with her fucking role.

"Can we put it in?" Kara asks suddenly, breathless, ragged, wet, like there's too much spit in her mouth, like she's spent this entire time not taking in breaths and her throat's just now getting a taste of air.

"Are you sure?" Lena asks back, voice harsh, mind sputtering, spinning, turning, trying to push the haze away and figure things out. She feels so freaking disoriented. "I feel like m'just getting started, could eat you out forever like this, there's no rush I swear."

"No, _I_ can't wait," Kara whines, biting against her arm, shifting her hips, rubbing herself all over the bed like she's seconds away from exploding. "Please, you've already been perfect, m'not complaining, just want it inside me now, want to _feel_ you."

"Are you sure?" Lena asks again, just to be sure.

"Please," Kara whimpers. "I'll be good, I swear, won't get my limbs pulled off or make bad jokes to service staff. I won't do anything stupid or disgusting or gross I promise, just fuck me, please. I _want_ it."

Jesus. Lena lets go of her, but only long enough to sit up, slide her pants down her thighs and spill some lube between Kara's legs. She doesn't bother with fingers, just spreads the lube with the head of the strap, and. It looks so fucking filthy, _god_ , she feels like _she's_ cracking, too.

She doesn't _just_ want to fuck Kara, she wants to hold her, wants to _feel_ her. So she moves Kara's legs until their between both of her's, straddling Kara's thighs as she shifts to sink inside her, dropping her hips when she's lined up, dropping her _weight_ , hugging against Kara's back and holding her _down_ and closed and warm and _close_ as she fucks her in short, hard bursts.

She can _feel_ so much like this, Kara shaking, Kara panting, Kara sweating, Kara grinding her ass up, so she can take _more_ when Lena's already in so _deep_. "Jesus, you're perfect," Lena whispers, right against her hair, watching Kara mouth wetly at her knuckles, keeping her eyes pressed closed, cheeks a very _mad_ red now. "How could you ever think I wouldn't feel _lucky_ to have you? Look at you, _fuck_."

"Lee, _please_ ," Kara begs, licking her lips and licking her lips, until Lena can't take it, until Lena lifts her hand and shoves two fingers right inside Kara's mouth. Kara starts sucking right away, even lets her own hand drop so her face isn't buried anymore, just flushed and open, puffy mouth wrapped tight around Lena's fingers.

"You didn't have to promise all that, you know," Lena tells her, slowing down her thrusts, working her hips, fucking Kara as deep as she can. "You can still be yourself and I'll love you that way. I love when you're dumb, but I love you like _this_ , too. I want both, _need_ both if this'll work."

"Mmm," Kara hums, opening her mouth, working her head back and forth like she's sucking Lena off. Lena gets so lost in it, she nearly misses what Kara's saying: she's not _ashamed_. She is who she is, and just because Lena's seen her like this, doesn't mean she'll wake up in the morning and act any different. She's still Lena's dummy, but now she's _her girl_ , too. "M'gonna come," Kara breathes, sloppy around her fingers. "I'm close, could you like, faster? Harder?"

"Okay," Lena says, pretty sure she'd do anything for Kara right now. She grips one hand in the sheets, pressed against the bed for leverage, grips the other in Kara's hair to hold her head, watch her eyes flutter shut as she pulls, as she fucks into her harder, faster. She wants to flip Kara over on her back, spread her legs, watch her cheeks flush up as Lena fucks her open and honest, face-to-face, nothing between them. But she's not sure either one of them can _handle_ that right now. So, she keeps herself talking to stay focused. "Like this, baby? This what you want?"

"Please, yeah," Kara says, barely a whisper, but Lena can still hear how scratchy she is around the edges, like she's stretched too thin, like she's finally fully unraveled, just a clump of thread on the floor, a ball of mush, getting _so_ soft and warm underneath Lena's body.

When she finally comes, it's like a slow rush, spreading through her thick and consuming like a California wildfire, tensing her up until she's shaking, _crumbling_ , crying and mumbling and jittery, smashing her damp lashes against Lena's arm, teeth scraping against her skin. God, she's fucking beautiful, fucking perfect, everything Lena's every wanted, and she _deserves_ to know it. So, Lena hunches over her and _tells her so_ , holds her tighter, holds her _closer_ , whispering, "I love you, I love you, _I'm so lucky_ ," the entire time until she's done.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on [TUMBLR](https://valkyrieskwad.tumblr.com/) and [TWITTER](https://twitter.com/VaIkyrieSquad). Come hang out with me!
> 
> <3


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